A. The demi-goddess cannot cry. If she does, she must endure a 24 hour timeout in which she will wallow in self-pity.
B. There will be a Cheif Nymph Officer or CNO. More to come.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Monday, March 3, 2008
Awesome Genesis 22
After these things, The Boy tested Kostas. He said to him, `Kostas!'
And he said, `Here I am.'
He said, `Take your son, your only son, GreekBoy, whom you love, and go to the land of Greenlake, and offer him there as a burnt-offering on one of the mountains that I shall show you.’
So Kostas rose early in the morning, saddled his donkey, (yeah he did) and took two of his young women with him, and his son GreekBoy; he cut the wood for the burnt-offering, and set out and went to the place in the distance that God had shown him.
On the third day Kostas looked up and saw the place far away.
Then Kostas said to his young women, ‘Stay here with the donkey; the boy and I will go over there; we will worship, and then we will come back to you.’
Kostas took the wood of the burnt-offering and laid it on his son GreekBoy, and he himself carried the fire and the knife. So the two of them walked on together.
GreekBoy said to his father Kostas, ‘Father!’ And he said, ‘Here I am, my son.’ He said, ‘The fire and the wood are here, but where is the lamb for a burnt-offering?’
Kostas said, ‘God himself will provide the lamb for a burnt-offering, my son. Or goat, or lamb, either way they all are delicious.’ So the two of them walked on together.
When they came to the place that The Boy had shown him, Kostas built an altar there and laid the wood in order. He bound his son GreekBoy, and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood.
Then Kostas reached out his hand and took the knife to kill his son.
But the angel of The Boy called to him from heaven, and said, ‘Kostas, Kostas!’ And he said, ‘Here I am.’
He said, ‘Do not lay your hand on the boy or do anything to him; for now I know that you fear The Boy, since you have not withheld your son, your only son, from me.’
And Kostas looked up and saw a ram, caught in a thicket by its horns. Kostas went and took the ram and offered it up as a burnt-offering instead of his son.
So Kostas called that place ‘The Lord will provide’; as it is said to this day, ‘On the mount of The Boy it shall be provided.’
The angel of The Boy called to Kostas a second time from heaven, and said, ‘By myself I have sworn, says The Boy: Because you have done this, and have not withheld your son, your only son, I will indeed bless you, and I will make your offspring as numerous as the stars of heaven and as the sand that is on the seashore. And your offspring shall possess the gate of their enemies, and by your offspring shall all the nations of the earth gain blessing for themselves, because you have obeyed my voice.’ So Kostas returned to his young women, and they arose and went together to Capitol Hill; and Kostas lived at Capitol Hill.
And thus from that day, because of Kostas totally misunderstood The Boy, and thought The Boy was mad, mad because he at the last moment took his son away and offered a ram instead; that the angel had tricked him; that The Boy had tricked him; no longer do we allow men into the doors of Awesome Manor, except for the slave men that report up to the women. It is an unfortunate misunderstanding.
And he said, `Here I am.'
He said, `Take your son, your only son, GreekBoy, whom you love, and go to the land of Greenlake, and offer him there as a burnt-offering on one of the mountains that I shall show you.’
So Kostas rose early in the morning, saddled his donkey, (yeah he did) and took two of his young women with him, and his son GreekBoy; he cut the wood for the burnt-offering, and set out and went to the place in the distance that God had shown him.
On the third day Kostas looked up and saw the place far away.
Then Kostas said to his young women, ‘Stay here with the donkey; the boy and I will go over there; we will worship, and then we will come back to you.’
Kostas took the wood of the burnt-offering and laid it on his son GreekBoy, and he himself carried the fire and the knife. So the two of them walked on together.
GreekBoy said to his father Kostas, ‘Father!’ And he said, ‘Here I am, my son.’ He said, ‘The fire and the wood are here, but where is the lamb for a burnt-offering?’
Kostas said, ‘God himself will provide the lamb for a burnt-offering, my son. Or goat, or lamb, either way they all are delicious.’ So the two of them walked on together.
When they came to the place that The Boy had shown him, Kostas built an altar there and laid the wood in order. He bound his son GreekBoy, and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood.
Then Kostas reached out his hand and took the knife to kill his son.
But the angel of The Boy called to him from heaven, and said, ‘Kostas, Kostas!’ And he said, ‘Here I am.’
He said, ‘Do not lay your hand on the boy or do anything to him; for now I know that you fear The Boy, since you have not withheld your son, your only son, from me.’
And Kostas looked up and saw a ram, caught in a thicket by its horns. Kostas went and took the ram and offered it up as a burnt-offering instead of his son.
So Kostas called that place ‘The Lord will provide’; as it is said to this day, ‘On the mount of The Boy it shall be provided.’
The angel of The Boy called to Kostas a second time from heaven, and said, ‘By myself I have sworn, says The Boy: Because you have done this, and have not withheld your son, your only son, I will indeed bless you, and I will make your offspring as numerous as the stars of heaven and as the sand that is on the seashore. And your offspring shall possess the gate of their enemies, and by your offspring shall all the nations of the earth gain blessing for themselves, because you have obeyed my voice.’ So Kostas returned to his young women, and they arose and went together to Capitol Hill; and Kostas lived at Capitol Hill.
And thus from that day, because of Kostas totally misunderstood The Boy, and thought The Boy was mad, mad because he at the last moment took his son away and offered a ram instead; that the angel had tricked him; that The Boy had tricked him; no longer do we allow men into the doors of Awesome Manor, except for the slave men that report up to the women. It is an unfortunate misunderstanding.
Awesome Leviticus
Justin, our spiritual leader, was on a journey; he was in seek of the question. He brought his harpoon and took sail on his little raft.
The sea of death was rough and treacherous. The waves clashed and roared as the raft moaned against the water. For 300 years he journeyed through, fighting through the malaise of extreme coldness, hunger and old age. He had to eat his harpoon to stay alive.
Finally just as he thought he saw land, a whale emerged and broke the raft into two equal pieces. Justin was launched up into the air and cocked back ready to throw his harpoon, when realized: he had eaten his harpoon. He landed in the water with a splash that made the heavens shake, and the whale opened its mouth and was ready to eat Justin.
Justin had no idea what to do, so he closed his eyes. He heard a voice in his head and he felt a spiritual energy. Suddenly he knew what to do.
"AWESOME" he bellowed, and the clouds parted, and the sun came down on that very spot, and the whale, bewildered, swam away.
In fear of death he swam in the direction he believed was Awesome. Justin woke up on the beach of an unknown mystical island. The island was covered in mystical mist.
Then a beam of light was seen. The beam of light split the mountain in half. From the rubble emerged a gold covered book.
Out of the mist appeared the Boy. The Boy led Justin throught the mystical mist to the book.
Justin could not explain the feeling, but he suddenly felt a unity of with his surroundings. At that moment the boy spoke:
"I know why you're here, Justin. I know what you've been doing. I know why you hardly sleep, why you live alone, and why night after night you sit on your daddy. You're looking for it. I know, because I was once looking for the same thing. And when I found, I realized I wasn't really looking for it but what it theorized. It was the proof that droves us mad, its the proof that brought you here and will save us all. When you see it, as I did you will realized its true and pure AWESOMENESS."
At that point the boy disappeared. Justin aproached the book.
It was entitled: "The Question"
He very carefully opened the pages.
There is only one thing inside the book.
"Theorem 1.1.2 (ii)"
Justin did not understand. But it would be a long journey of trials and tribulations before anyone understood. The mystery of Theorem 1.1.2 (ii) would continue forth for at least 15 minutes.
The sea of death was rough and treacherous. The waves clashed and roared as the raft moaned against the water. For 300 years he journeyed through, fighting through the malaise of extreme coldness, hunger and old age. He had to eat his harpoon to stay alive.
Finally just as he thought he saw land, a whale emerged and broke the raft into two equal pieces. Justin was launched up into the air and cocked back ready to throw his harpoon, when realized: he had eaten his harpoon. He landed in the water with a splash that made the heavens shake, and the whale opened its mouth and was ready to eat Justin.
Justin had no idea what to do, so he closed his eyes. He heard a voice in his head and he felt a spiritual energy. Suddenly he knew what to do.
"AWESOME" he bellowed, and the clouds parted, and the sun came down on that very spot, and the whale, bewildered, swam away.
In fear of death he swam in the direction he believed was Awesome. Justin woke up on the beach of an unknown mystical island. The island was covered in mystical mist.
Then a beam of light was seen. The beam of light split the mountain in half. From the rubble emerged a gold covered book.
Out of the mist appeared the Boy. The Boy led Justin throught the mystical mist to the book.
Justin could not explain the feeling, but he suddenly felt a unity of with his surroundings. At that moment the boy spoke:
"I know why you're here, Justin. I know what you've been doing. I know why you hardly sleep, why you live alone, and why night after night you sit on your daddy. You're looking for it. I know, because I was once looking for the same thing. And when I found, I realized I wasn't really looking for it but what it theorized. It was the proof that droves us mad, its the proof that brought you here and will save us all. When you see it, as I did you will realized its true and pure AWESOMENESS."
At that point the boy disappeared. Justin aproached the book.
It was entitled: "The Question"
He very carefully opened the pages.
There is only one thing inside the book.
"Theorem 1.1.2 (ii)"
Justin did not understand. But it would be a long journey of trials and tribulations before anyone understood. The mystery of Theorem 1.1.2 (ii) would continue forth for at least 15 minutes.
AWESOME Genesis
In the begining there was emptiness.
The Boy looked forth and decided it was time.
And the Boy said let there be AWESOME - and it was good.
And the Boy created the heavens and the Earth and a few universes, but felt that was overkill so kept it down to one universe, and it was good.
And the Boy created Awesome Manor, complete with two plush Daddies. And it was good.
And the Boy created S Club 7, and Daft Punk. Overall it was good.
And the Boy created the CAO and the Ordained Minister and the COSDG, and it was awesome.
The Boy looked forth and decided it was time.
And the Boy said let there be AWESOME - and it was good.
And the Boy created the heavens and the Earth and a few universes, but felt that was overkill so kept it down to one universe, and it was good.
And the Boy created Awesome Manor, complete with two plush Daddies. And it was good.
And the Boy created S Club 7, and Daft Punk. Overall it was good.
And the Boy created the CAO and the Ordained Minister and the COSDG, and it was awesome.
Rules Amendment #2
A. All spellings must be Canadian spelling, punishable by death
B. DG only wears shades, not colours. If she wears colours, she must take it off.
C. You may ask why the gods are not called Lords of Awesome Manor. But they are. So shut up.
B. DG only wears shades, not colours. If she wears colours, she must take it off.
C. You may ask why the gods are not called Lords of Awesome Manor. But they are. So shut up.
Two Daddies
There are two Plush 'daddies'.
1. They hover in mid-air
2. They provide comfort
3. Only the following may use a daddy: CAO, Ordained Minister, DG, Jessica Alba, or 'chosen of the day'.
4. Chosen of the day will be explained in a future FAQ.
5. The proceedings of the day are initiated when one of the god proclaims loudly, WHOS YOUR DADDY and then they bask in their awesomeness.
6. Demi-goddess sits where she pleases.
1. They hover in mid-air
2. They provide comfort
3. Only the following may use a daddy: CAO, Ordained Minister, DG, Jessica Alba, or 'chosen of the day'.
4. Chosen of the day will be explained in a future FAQ.
5. The proceedings of the day are initiated when one of the god proclaims loudly, WHOS YOUR DADDY and then they bask in their awesomeness.
6. Demi-goddess sits where she pleases.
FAQ
1. Are you pro-life?
Refer to rule #7
2. Do you support Ron Paul?
Refer to rule #7
3. Do believe in the separation of church and state?
No.
4. Do you support the death penalty?
Refer to rule #7
Refer to rule #7
2. Do you support Ron Paul?
Refer to rule #7
3. Do believe in the separation of church and state?
No.
4. Do you support the death penalty?
Refer to rule #7
Definition: COSDG
COSDG (or Chantal for short) is:
A little motherfucker who think that by calling herself a goddess that she is above everything and everyone. Not worth a flying fuck truthfully but tolerated by everyone else because they play cute. Usually real young (25-100), but not really at all.
A little motherfucker who think that by calling herself a goddess that she is above everything and everyone. Not worth a flying fuck truthfully but tolerated by everyone else because they play cute. Usually real young (25-100), but not really at all.
The Rules - First Amendment
This is the first amendment to 'the rules'
A. The rules can never be changed, only amended.
B. The Chief of Staff/Demigoddess (COSDG) is Chantal.
A. The rules can never be changed, only amended.
B. The Chief of Staff/Demigoddess (COSDG) is Chantal.
The Rules
1. All members are either women or Kostas or Justin.
2. We must get a French baker.
3. All members report to the Chief of Staff/Demigoddess
4. Demigoddess reports to Kostas and Justin
5. Kostas is the CAO - Chief Awesome Officer
6. Justin is the Ordained Minister who brings forth the word of 'the boy'
7. We are one of 'those' cults.
2. We must get a French baker.
3. All members report to the Chief of Staff/Demigoddess
4. Demigoddess reports to Kostas and Justin
5. Kostas is the CAO - Chief Awesome Officer
6. Justin is the Ordained Minister who brings forth the word of 'the boy'
7. We are one of 'those' cults.
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